


The Curious Tale of Love in Four Parts

by nomequedamas



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-18 03:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10608684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomequedamas/pseuds/nomequedamas
Summary: Basically a drama. Two of the crew have feelings for you. Who will you choose?





	1. I

"Doctor," You started, pouring yourself another finger of bourbon, "What if we never get off this ship?" He reclined further in his chair, blue eyes studying you from the other side of his desk.

"I don't know what to tell you, nurse." He took a sip of his glass. "I try not to think of that too much myself."

"Well, it's nearing 11 pm and it seems the both of us are working overtime. I guess I'm getting a little maudlin." He chuckled.

"Speaking of overtime, don't you need to make your rounds on the patients?"

"I got Raleigh to cover me this time. I'm just the one they call if they press their nurse button for now." Beep! "I spoke too soon it seems. I'll be right back." You knew drinking on the job was bad; but, it was only a finger or two of bourbon, and the doctor had offered, so how could you refuse? You stepped out of his office and into the main room. Patients lined the walls but the one who had called you was at the end of the row. "Yes, ensign?"

Big, brown eyes looked up at you from underneath floppy hair. It was none other than the captain's favorite navigator, Mister Ensign Chekov.

"I just wanted to ask for a little more pain medication. My leg is beginning to hurt again." He'd gone and gotten himself a nasty gash on his thigh while planet side; the story was that he'd fallen down a mountainside and a broken piece of tree bark hadn't taken too kindly to his landing. You pulled at the dead skin on your lip absentmindedly.

"Sure, Chekov. Let me change your dressing, too, while I'm at it." You stepped out for a moment to grab the bandage and when you returned he'd had a big smile on his face. "What is it, ensign?"

"I won't tell the other nurses you've been drinking." You immediately flushed, setting the bandage down.

"How could you tell?"

"I smelled it on your breath, nurse." You undressed his wound a little more hasty than you would've liked, your fingers shaking as they unraveled the gauze. Staring at the wound, you tried to focus on not being embarrassed.

"It's looking a lot better, ensign. Lots of clotting. Good sign." As you were wrapping the bandage around his leg again, he reached out and held your wrist. His grip was firm, and you hoped he couldn't feel your shakiness.

"Nurse." You looked into his eyes. His sweet, brown eyes that were currently full of mischief. He may be the captain's favorite but that doesn't negate the fact that he's also the ship mattress, and he was not getting you into his room.

"What is it, ensign? I'm trying to dress your wound."

"I won't tell the nurses you've been drinking if you go out to dinner with me when I'm out of here." Your eyes narrowed, and you snatched your hand back to finish up the job at hand. "It's not like you have anything better to do." True, you were a loner, but you had a few friends, and one of them was the ship's chief medical officer. The two of you always had good conversation, and more importantly, good alcohol. You were Chekov's age, mid-twenties, but the good doctor always said you acted like an old divorcee. And he liked it.

"Why would you want to have dinner with me?" You challenged. If he wanted you in his bed, he was going to have to fight for it. His eyes seemed to sparkle with mischievousness. He was gonna fight.

"Why wouldn't I? You are intelligent and beautiful. If Doctor McCoy likes you, then surely I must get to know you." You couldn't help it. You blushed. Damn it that kid was good.

"Fine. But only because I'm being blackmailed." You stood from where you were leaned over to reach his leg. "Have a good night ensign." He smirked at you with that crooked grin of his as you returned to the CMO's office. You sighed as the door whooshed shut behind you and you slumped back into your chair across from the doctor.

"Whoa, what happened here?" He threw back the rest of his glass.

"Ensign Chekov blackmailed me into a date with him. Told me he smelt the alcohol on my breath." The doctor's brow furrowed, and then he laughed.

"Ensign Chekov, huh? How long before he gets bored of trying to entertain a wet blanket like you?" He wagged his finger at you and you almost spit out the drink you had lifted to your lips.

"Wet blanket?! Why, Doctor, I'm offended!" You took a long drink and set the glass down. "Just for that, I may have to prove you wrong."

"And break Mister Chekov's little heart?"

"How can you be so sure?" McCoy's eyebrow rose. He stood and tapped at his wristwatch.

"Eleven-thirty, nurse. We can leave. Unless you want to..."

"Is that an invitation?"

"Don't tell Chekov." The two of you laughed. You were just friends, but you could see anyway how Chekov could get jealous. If Chekov even wanted exclusivity. You and the Doctor walked out of sickbay together, and you were just too inebriated to notice the protective hand Dr. McCoy had on your lower back.

\--

You and McCoy sat on his bed together, an old western playing on the screen. Neither of you was really focusing on it, he was fiddling with a tricorder, and you were reading a medical journal.

"Don't you ever stop working?" He asked, motioning to your journal.

"Don't you?" You looked pointedly at his tricorder. He harrumphed and set it down, then grabbed your journal and set it down with his.

"We're gonna relax." He scooted closer to you and put his arm around you. He'd done that sort of thing before, but never in bed.

"If you say so." You turned your attention to the TV. It was a western called Bonanza. The four main characters were a dad and his three sons. In this particular episode, his son needed medical attention, but the doctor was in jail. "Imagine having to be a doctor in those times. I think they just sedated him with chloroform." A laugh.

"They used to cut and sew people like garments. A shame."

"I'm so glad we're past that now..." Your eyelids started to flutter shut and soon the world around you was fading to black.

\--

You'd spent many a night in the CMO's quarters. McCoy told you that Captain Kirk liked to tease that he couldn't come in anytime he pleased, lest you be doing something bad. You had assured McCoy that would never happen. Today was, thankfully, your day off, so you didn't have to go to work, and you didn't have to see that Chekov, either. McCoy's comm chimed. He grunted and sat up, switching it on. Kirk's face appeared on the screen. The light was blinding, so you covered your face with your arms.

"Doctor — oh, I see you've got company..."

"Get on with it, Jim, this light is giving me a headache."

"Bones, I was going to invite you to have brunch with me, but... Well, I suppose you can bring your... company, too." The Captain was trying to hide a silly grin. He wiped the corner of his mouth.

"How thoughtful of you, Captain." He sighed. "Yes, we'll be there. Which rec room?"

"I was thinking... My quarters would serve us better." McCoy's eyebrow raised. Kirk stared back at him, a captainly glint in his eye.

"Okay, Jim. We'll come down in a few." He switched off the comm and slumped back down into bed.

"He always catches us at the wrong times, huh Lenny." You offered, sitting up and stretching.

"Sometimes I think he does it on purpose."

"How would he know?"

"Exactly." You laughed, zipping up your boots and standing.

"I'm gonna go to my quarters to change into my off-duty clothes. Where's the captain's cabin?" He looked at you and sat up.

"Just meet me back here and we'll go together."

"Alright, Len." You salute to him, he grins, and you turn to walk out the door.

\--

"Do you know why the Captain would want to see you?" You asked, the two of you heading down the corridor towards the turbo lift.

"Sometimes, if we haven't had a good talk in a while, he'll just do this." McCoy was wearing an ole miss t-shirt and jeans tied up with a belt. You nodded, facing forward, watching out of the corner of your eye as McCoy directed the lift. It had been a while since you last spoke to the captain. You saw him every so often when he visited sickbay, but he would mostly go straight to the doctor for what he needed and head straight back up to the bridge. Not that you blamed him. You were sure it was a busy time being a captain of a starship. Still, you were nervous. And you knew McCoy would tell you not to be. Right as of now, the captain was under the assumption that you and the doctor had spent the night together — as more than friends. This was going to be an interesting meal. You felt a hand on your shoulder.

"Don't worry about it," McCoy said. "It's gonna be fine." The two of you exited the turbo lift and walked a couple paces down to the captain's quarters. He pressed the buzzer and waited. The door whooshed open and you nervously stepped inside.

"McCoy!" Kirk exclaimed, wrapping him in a hug. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!" He was wearing a white t-shirt and his uniform bottoms. Even dressed down like this, the captain was still impeccably handsome. "And you!" He turned to look at you. "I don't think you've ever formally introduced me, Doctor!"

"This is my nurse. She's a fine nurse, she does her job well."

"She must be more than your nurse—"

"—We're also friends."

"Friends?" The Captain looked suggestively at McCoy.

"Friends."

\--

Chekov rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and glanced around the room. You either hadn't started your shift yet or you wouldn't be coming in today. Either way, it was no matter. Chekov was familiar with those who played hard to get and judging by the way you walked out with the doctor, you were going to be a difficult one. He pressed his nurse button.

"Yes?" A sweet little red headed nurse was at his attention.

"Can I ask where my nurse is?"

"Oh, she won't be coming in today. I think I saw her and McCoy walking around though. It's their day off."

"Their day off?"

"Yes. Is there anything else you needed?"

"Nothing. Thank you." She turned and skipped off, mingling with the other nurses. Chekov folded his arms. He would have to figure out what the extent of your relationship with Dr. McCoy was. You were still Chekov's main nurse, if there was an emergency you'd be called up to sickbay. He considered, but no, he couldn't do that. His last session of dermal regeneration was today and he'd be out of here by this evening. Hopefully, you wouldn't have plans.

\--

"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Nurse," the Captain took your hand and kissed the back of it.

"Th-thank you, you as well, Captain." A blush made its way up to your cheeks.

"Please, it's Jim, now."

"Jim," McCoy interjected, "we'd better be going. I took up enough of her morning."

"Right. You go ahead, she'll follow in a moment." McCoy shot him a glance but obliged, the door whooshing as he left.

"Now, I want you to know that our dear doctor's heart is very fragile. He's had a lot of women break that heart, and just by the way he looks at you, I can tell he's hearing bells, so be gentle. Capisce?" You blinked. Huh? You and the Doctor weren't anything like that, you were just friends.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, we aren't dating! He's my friend. I know, it came off weird when you saw us in his bed this morning, but we just fell asleep watching television." You were speaking a little rushed, almost incredulously. Doctor McCoy couldn't have a crush on you! He was your superior! Not to mention about 15 years your senior; not that it mattered too much considering you were 25, but the fact was still there.

"Listen to me right now Nurse, and listen to me well. I have known Doctor McCoy since he was a cadet. Whether he denies it or not, that man has got it for you and he has got it bad. Now, if you don't feel the same way, you need to make that clear as soon as possible." The captain had leaned in close to you, you could smell the coffee on his breath. His eyes were piercing; you now knew what it was like to take orders from him on the bridge and frankly, you were lucky to be under Doctor McCoy. "Do you feel the same?"

"I – I, I'm not sure, Captain. I've never thought of it that way before."

"Well think about it, and do it fast. I'll be following up with you about this." Suddenly his demeanor changed. He was the joking, smiling guy you saw at brunch once again. "Now get out of my quarters, nurse." He smirked at you. You laughed.

"Yes, Captain." As soon as you left, McCoy practically ambushed you.

"Whatever he said was a lie—don't trust him! He loves to play tricks on me." You grinned at the doctor and held his hand.

"Leo, we didn't even talk about you. Don't get so worked up." You leaned in and gave him a small peck on his cheek. As you drew back, you noted the light blush dusting his cheeks.

"Now, was that really necessary," he chided, fighting a grin.

"It was to get you to shut your mouth."

\--

Later that day, you were in the gym lifting weights. As sweat built on your forehead and your muscles burned, your mind wandered. You dutifully examined your interactions with the doctor - sure, you two were friendly, but you had never known it meant anything. There were times where you questioned your own intentions, but you figured it was fabricated by the mood of the moment or your own sentimentality. Never had you considered that your own inclination toward romance could be you subconsciously feeding off of him. You set down the weights for good and clapped the dust off your hands. Then there was Chekov. This would be so much simpler if he hadn't butted his way in last night and threw a wrench in whatever it was you and the doctor had. And the worst part was, you weren't all that mad at him. Your communicator beeped. Flipping it open, you began.

"Hello?"

"I'm out of sickbay," the voice said. Speak of the devil.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, ensign."

"My quarters? Thirty minutes?" You pinched the bridge of your nose. You had already promised this to him, but your stomach was beginning to turn at the prospect of it. Somehow it felt like you were going behind the doctor's back.

"Give me an hour, I just finished working out and I need to make myself presentable again."

"Take all the time you need. I'll be waiting." You could hear the smile on his lips as the transmission cut off.

\--

You tugged down on your t-shirt self-consciously as you rang the buzzer outside of Chekov's quarters. What was he expecting from this? You certainly weren't going to put out for him tonight, especially not with the weight of what the captain told you looming over your head. Everyone on the ship knew Chekov went through partners like water, so you weren't too worried about romantic feelings. You were sort of insulted that he thought he could wrap you around his finger as easily as he could anyone else. Just as the doors opened, you saw the doctor around the corner and made eye contact with him. Fuck. What is he doing here?

"Hey! You look beautiful, I'm so glad you could make it!" Chekov gushed and grabbed your shoulders, pulling you into a hug. Your eyes were still glued to McCoy's, and his to yours. The expression on his face was unreadable, and you were this close to figuring it out before he turned on his heel and started in the other direction. Ensign Chekov grabbed your hand and pulled you inside. The doors closed behind you and you decided to put the doctor out of your mind; he could be dealt with later.

"Thank you for inviting me, ensign."

"Please, call me Pavel in here." He smiled at you, a genuine smile, and you felt your cheeks heat up. So this was how he did it, you thought. He wasn't going to get in that easy. Pavel ushered you to the couch, where two trays were set up in front. He had no dining table, so this is what you assumed he did when he had company. "I made a few traditional Russian dishes. I figure you haven't had them before." It certainly smelled amazing.

"I haven't had Russian food before, no, but I'm always open to trying new things." He introduced the two dishes to you, pirozhki and chicken tabaka. You sat and took a bite as he watched you expectantly, and you were blown away. If he had any more food like this, you just may be taking your pants off tonight. "Pavel! This is fantastic!" He clapped his hands together and his face lit up like you told him he won a million dollars.

"Замечательно! That makes me so happy!" You locked eyes with him and felt your stomach do flips. Damn it all to hell, he was really good at this.

\--

It was later in the evening, and you'd had your fill of delicious Russian food. He'd even brought out a dessert, mureveinik, and you'd almost kissed him after you tasted it. You were leaned up against him, head on his shoulder, as he finished his last couple bites of dessert. It was then that you felt his hand skim over your thigh.

"Do you often wear leggings when you are off-duty?" His voice was lower and less playful. This was when he changed the mood. You were starting to follow his pattern here, but for some reason, you didn't feel played.

"Sure, they're comfortable."

"They look amazing on you..." His voice began to sort of trail off. "They're so... form-fitting." He squeezed your thigh and you wished you could say with certainty that you didn't enjoy it.

"Maybe I'll wear them more often."

"You should." You turned to look at him and his eyes met yours. His gaze was clouded, full of lust and bad intentions. "Listen, I don't do this often... Usually, I just.. Use people and leave them. But I feel differently this time, I want to know you more." Your breath caught in your throat. Oh no. The only thing worse than Chekov coming onto you sexually was him coming onto you romantically. At least if it was just sex you could argue that it didn't mean anything and therefore you didn't have it on your conscience when you talked to Leonard. Now it's been tainted by feelings.

"I, uh, can we discuss that after?" He grinned like a Cheshire Cat.

"Absolutely." And with that, he dove in, his mouth meeting with yours. He was an amazing kisser, of course he was, he had to be if he had sex with so many crew members. His lips trailed down to your neck, and you began to shiver and grab his hair.

  
\--

You breathed heavily as he fell down beside you on his bed. Maybe you were just another notch in his belt, but god dammit you had no regrets. Your mind was so far away from the doctor, and it seemed better that way. Now that this was over though, it was time to go. Grunting, you began to sit up.

"Thank you for having me, Pavel, I had a wonderful time.." As you began to pick up your clothes from the floor, he grabbed your arm.

"Where are you going?"

"It's after 10 pm, we just had sex, is it not time for me to go?" He crinkled his brow.

"I - if you want you can... I just wanted... Well, maybe you can.. stay the night?" You stared back at him blankly. Stay the night? Aw, fuck it. What more damage could you do?

"Okay."

"Okay, you'll stay the night?"

"Okay, I'll stay the night." You leaned back into bed and he pulled you towards him. He was strong and warm and exuding testosterone, every bit a man you'd want to bed. But somehow, a tiny pang of guilt made its way into your mind. You tried to shut it out as you nuzzled up closer to him. When he kissed your forehead, you finally relaxed.

 


	2. II

  
The next morning was surprisingly less awkward than you thought it was going to be. He had a lot of experience in morning-afters, you supposed. He was already up drinking a cup of tea, and when he offered you some, you politely refused.

"So, I wanted to ask you..." You looked up.

"Yes, Pavel?"

"I've been admiring you for a little while now. I guess I just wanted to know if you'd like to do this again sometime." Your heart caught in your throat. This is exactly what you were trying to avoid.

"I - uh -" You couldn't deny what a great time you had with him last night, but you needed to figure things out with the Doctor. "I'll see, Pav, I have a very busy schedule this week." He looked down at his tea.

"You could just say no. It's a lot easier."

"I don't want to say no, though. I just have a lot going on right now." He put his mug down and grabbed your shoulders.

"But I could help you get your mind off of it! I can help you relax..." You sighed. He was right.

"Okay. I'll comm you. I promise." He grinned.

"Good."

"Now I need to get back to my quarters so I can change for my shift, okay?" You smiled at him, and he took it as an invitation to kiss you. Despite your conscience, you returned the kiss. You reached up and ran your fingers through his hair as it got deeper, and he pulled away for just a moment.

"What time does your shift start?" He asked against your lips.

"Not for another two hours. We have time." He grinned and led you back to his bed.

"Good."

\--

Finally, you were exiting his quarters, pulling away from the goodbye kiss he gave you as you walked out. As you turned to walk down the corridor, you stopped dead in your tracks. Of course, one of the two people you didn't want to see was walking down the hallway with his plus one. What was he even doing here? Isn't he the captain? Doesn't he have duty on the bridge? You ducked your head, tried not to make eye contact, when —

"Nurse!" Fuck. You looked up and smiled, hoped it wasn't obvious that you had just finished fucking his Chief of Security. Even though you were pretty certain they just saw you locking lips with him.

"Captain!" You answered in kind. He smiled at you, but you felt the glare in his eyes. "Good morning, Captain. Commander." Spock raised an eyebrow and nodded at you.

"Perhaps we should let the nurse freshen up," Spock offered, keenly aware of how much you smelled like sex. Damn that Vulcan nose.

"Perhaps," The Captain responded. "Perhaps the nurse will also have lunch with me on her break today." He clenched his jaw, and Spock's gaze darted between the two of you. You swallowed.

"I would be honored, Captain. If you don't mind, I do have a shift to make."

"Of course. Carry on." You rushed down the rest of the corridor, practically leaped into the turbo lift. And wow, God really hates you, the other person you didn't want to see was standing right there, holding the lever. He raised an eyebrow curiously, his lips quirked upward in a smile.

"Isn't this Mister Chekov's level?" His words were light with humor.

"Yes," You started, puffing out your chest proudly. "Told you I wasn't a wet blanket."

"But you smell like one. Seriously, you'd better shower before your shift today, I don't want you smelling like Chekov and ruining everyone's day." You shot him a glare.

"I was just heading back to my quarters to do that." The lift stopped on your level, and you stepped out. "See you in a few, Doc."

\--

Your day had gone on pretty normally, only now it was 10 minutes away from lunch time, and you knew the Captain wouldn't forget your little “lunch date”. You were sitting across from Dr. McCoy, working on patient release forms, when you heard a knock on the office door. The doctor exchanged a look with you and pressed the button to open the door. You turned around and, no, no, no, no, no…

“Nurse?” Chekov’s voice practically pierced your ears, though he was speaking normally. McCoy’s grin burned into the back of your head, you knew he was smiling at you; that fucker.

“Yes, ensign?” You tried to compose yourself. What the hell is he doing here? Didn't you just tell him you had a busy week? Go away!

“I was just wondering… Would you have lunch with me today?” You heard a muffled snort come from the Doctor, and it took all of your willpower not to clock him.

“I - actually - the Captain and I are having lunch together today.”

“Oh? Did you do something wrong?” You raised your brows.

“Why does it have to mean that I did something wrong?” To his credit, you probably did. “What if I did something right?” You smirked, and he blushed. Shit, did you just flirt? Was that flirting?

“Sorry for assuming. Tonight?” No, no, tonight was Monday, you and McCoy always watched old movies on Mondays. Movie Mondays.

“Tonight, I -” You gestured back towards Dr. McCoy, and he spoke up, to your gratefulness.

“Movie Mondays.”

“Yeah. Movie Mondays.” He looked down, almost dejectedly, and you wanted to feel bad.

“Maybe another time…”

“—I can probably do tomorrow at lunch?” You rushed, throwing your hands up. “I can, yeah, I can probably do tomorrow at lunch.” His mood seemed to brighten a little and he rapped his knuckles on the doorframe.

“Alright, tomorrow at lunch.”

“Tomorrow at lunch.”

“Tomorrow… at lunch.” He exited, and the door closed behind him. McCoy laughed at you once you turned around.

“Tomorrow at lunch?” He asked, a wry smile painting his face.

“Don't even start.”

“So, lunch with the Captain, eh? What's that for?”

“Don't ask me. I really don't know.”

“You don't?”

“No, I was just walking in the hallway, and he stopped me and asked if I’d join him for lunch.” Leonard cocked his head at you in confusion. Just as he did, the door whooshed open yet again and the Captain stood in the doorway.

“Doctor! Nurse! So good to see you. Are you ready?” You looked back at Leonard one last time, half-wishing he had some ace up his sleeve to get you out of this.

“Yes, sir I am,” You answered, standing to follow him out.

“I'll have her back for her afternoon shift,” The Captain said to Leonard dismissively.

“You’d better!”

\--

“So I’m assuming you made it clear to the Doctor you aren't interested,” He began, shoving a forkful of salad into his mouth. Your body felt like it was on fire, you were under such tight scrutiny from the Captain. The last time you felt this anxious was when you took the Kobayashi Maru.

“I — he knows I spent the night with Chekov.”

“That's not what I mean.”

“Captain, if I may be frank, I'm not totally decided myself. Chekov coerced me into that date. I'm just… feeling things out, for lack of a better phrase.” Kirk set his fork down and took a long drink. Meanwhile, you hadn't touched your food. There was no way you could feel hungry while being directly confronted by the Captain.

“Should I have a talk with Mister Chekov? Was it not consensual?”

“No! No that's not what I meant at all, everything that happened was entirely consensual.” He looked at you, hard, you felt as though he was extracting information from you just by staring you down. Finally, he sighed.

“Listen. I understand you're only human, but I think it would be in everyone’s best interest if you sorted out your feelings. Do you understand what I’m saying? That man is my best friend and he deserves a straight answer.” The Captain’s concern was clear and fair. You both cared about McCoy, and if he was feeling bad because of you, you wanted to change. “Maybe I’m reading this whole thing wrong. I’ll try to get information out of him tonight.” You nodded.

“Yes, sir.”

“Meanwhile, you absolutely are allowed to fraternize with Chekov as you please, don't feel like I’m barring you from that. But if you find yourself growing attached to him, make it known to the Doctor, so he doesn't have false hopes if what I’m suspecting about him is true.” Another fair statement.

“Yes, sir.”

“You seem like a good person, nurse. You have to be if Doctor McCoy likes you. I trust you'll do the right thing.”

\--

“Nurse!” McCoy’s voice called you from inside his office as you passed. You stopped and peeked inside.

“You rang?”

“Yes,” He cleared his throat. “Is it okay if we cancel this week’s Movie Monday? Jim wanted to talk to me this evening about something, he won't tell me what it was.” The Captain’s words rang through your mind again. I’ll try to get information out of him tonight.

“Sure, Len! I wonder if Pavel is still free…”

“First name basis now?” He cocked his eyebrow at you, his blue eyes sparkling.

“It’s not like that!” He just harrumphed and looked back down at his PADD.

“Maybe we can reschedule for tomorrow.”

“That would work, I think.”

“Good. Tomorrow in the evening.”

“Tomorrow in the evening.” You repeated. His eyes flicked up to meet you humorously.

“You gotta stop doing that, no wonder Chekov felt awkward.” At his prompting, you were distinctly aware of the parallel between the conversations. Laughing, you slapped the doorframe and walked off.

\--

“I’m so glad you were available tonight, after all!”  
Chekov exclaimed, pulling you into a hug. You stiffened and pushed him away.

“Please — not in public.” He looked at you quizzically but obliged. The nurses that turned to look at the pair of you gave you a knowing smile and returned to their work. Shit, now everyone knows.

“What would you like to do?”

Nurse Salcedo came up behind you and squeezed your shoulder, grinning at you.

“Busy tonight, nurse?” He teased, and you elbowed him in the side.

“Get outta here, Salcedo,” You sneered, and he scurried off, giggling. Turning to look at Chekov, you saw him fighting a grin. “What are you smiling about?” He ignored your question and instead asked one of his own.

“Can I tell my friends too?”

“Tell them what?” You asked, feigning ignorance.

“About us.”

“I didn't tell my friends.” He continued to look at you as if that answer wasn't enough. You sighed. “If you really want, I guess.” He lit up like a Christmas tree and grabbed your hand, dragging you out of Sickbay. On the way out, he bumped into someone.

“Excuse me,” He answered quickly until he saw who it was. The doctor looked down at the two of you, his arms folded and his eyebrow quirked.

“Off to cause trouble, ensign? Nurse?” McCoy inquired. You couldn't help but notice there wasn't as much humor in his voice.

“No, sir,” Chekov replied in earnest, squeezing your hand tighter. “I am just taking my g– well, I am about to take the nurse on a date.” Your head whipped over to look at him, but his eyes were trained solely on the doctor’s. Was he about to say, girlfriend? You felt sick. Dr. McCoy cleared his throat.

“Take good care of her, ensign.” And with that he continued on into the Sickbay, turning the corner to enter his office. The two of you started down the corridor.

“So, ah, what would you like to do?”

“It’s about dinner time, right? Let’s do that. My quarters okay?”

“Actually, ah — do you think we could eat in the mess hall?” You shot him a sidelong look.

“What's that about?”

“I just — would like to be seen with you.” His hand tightened on yours and you fought a blush creeping its way up your cheeks.

“Alright, then. Mess hall.”

\--

Regret. That was the only thing you could process right now as you sat across from Chekov in the mess hall. You couldn't shake the feeling that every single eye was on you, although you knew better. The mess was crowded, packed, and bustling with conversation. Pavel had brought your food and sat it in front of you. You picked at it uninterestedly.

“Something wrong?” You looked up at him. Just then, a pair of yeoman passed. Is that the nurse? The one that never speaks? Why is she with Pavel? You whipped your head to try to face your gossipers, but they were already out of earshot. Damn it.

“No, nothing. I just don't have much of an appetite.” He drew his brows together. He knew that you knew he didn't believe you. You didn't quite believe yourself either. A sigh. “I suppose I’m just — not used to being around so many people. And you are. So many of these people are your friends, or if they're not, they know your name.”

“Oh… I’m sorry, I didn't even think of that.” He took another bite of his pirozhki. “If you want, we can go back to my quarters?”

God, he had to be so sweet and understanding, didn't he? Where was the sleazy womanizer everyone in the ship gossiped about? You'd heard so much about his antics, but the man before you was not the man you thought you knew of.

The outside world didn't seem to matter anymore. You just wanted to do something for him.

“No, it's fine.” He looked at you with disbelief and you laughed, trying to assuage him. “Really, it is. I just had a long day. I need to loosen up.” For a moment he paused, and then he reached across the table and interlaced his fingers with yours. A tingle swept through your body.

“I think I know of something we can do to… loosen up?” He was full-on smirking by now, and his eyes sparkled with mischief.

“Oh? Tell me more, Mister Chekov…”

“I will, but just let me finish my dinner.”

“But of course,” You giggled, squeezing his hand before letting it go and finally settling into your meal.

\--

Your nerves had loosened and you were starting to enjoy yourself. In fact, you were almost sad to leave the mess hall, you had come to enjoy sitting with him.

The two of you sauntered down the hallway, hand in hand, and you were beginning not to think much of it anymore. You looked at him with a big grin, and he pressed a small kiss on your nose. Just then, you saw the Doctor and the Captain from the corner of your eye.

“Pavel – the Doctor and the Cap–”

“Oh, don’t worry about them. I already submitted our form.” You stopped dead in your tracks; McCoy and Kirk already out of sight.

“What form?”

“The Consensual Romance in the Workplace Agreement Form. You just need to go in and sign it too, whenever Mister Spock is on duty.”

“Pavel…”

“Am I moving too fast? Did I read this wrong? I’m so sorry. I can redact it.”

“Let’s just -- let’s just wait another week. Let me feel this thing out more. Don’t redact it until next week.”

“That’s fair.”

\--

Later that evening, you were lying with Chekov in bed, hearts racing and tired from sex. He got up and left the room, and your phone buzzed.

Cptn Kirk, 1701-0098: My hunch was right, Nurse. He has feelings for you. And he’s getting pretty torn up about Chekov.

Your stomach dropped. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You couldn’t help it. The stress of the situation was getting to you. You began to cry.

Chekov sauntered back into the room, grinning and holding a bottle of strawberry champagne.

“I was promoted to relief Science Officer!” He cried, popping the bottle. “Wait - are you alright?”


	3. III

Later, after you had explained everything - the truth - to Pavel, he sat facing you, staring at you as if expecting something else.

“So?” He said.

“So, what?”

“Who are you going to choose?”

“Pavel, how am I supposed to know right now.”

“I figured it'd be obvious…” He looked down and you took the opportunity to glance around his room. Star charts, posters with the anatomy of the cell, posters of great Russian scientists and explorers, all in Russian. How did he ever convince girls to come have one night stands with him here? He was a huge nerd. A huge nerd that you now had feelings for. Funny how cupid doesn't take his time when he has an arrow pointed.

But Leonard has been there for you since the academy. He was your teacher, as taboo as that sounds, and your mentor. You thought he was handsome, in a mature sort of way, but you hardly ever entertained the thought of being in a relationship with him.

“Pavel, I… Leonard has been there for me for so long…”

“He was your teacher! And now he's your supervisor. Isn't that the least bit concerning to you?” Pavel was starting to get indignant. You couldn't blame him.

“I know it's a little weird…”

“It's more than a little weird. Why can't he get someone his own age?”

“It's only fifteen years, Pasha, there's no need to—”

“—That’s more than half our life. I’m 26, you're 25. Fifteen years ago you were 10. He was 15 when you were born!”

“Pavel…”

“There's something wrong with him. Maybe he has issues with his kid or something, and he's searching for that acceptance and affection from you.”

“He has a kid?”

“You mean you don't know? Her name's Joanna. The only reason I know is because I was hitting on her when we were on Space Station G-2, and he gave me what-for. She's around our age. A little younger. He doesn't exactly talk about it much.”

“I don't… I…”

“See? He doesn't tell you these things, how can you really trust him and his intentions? What if he has some weird relationship with his daughter?”

“Pavel, you don't really think that, do you?”

“I don't know what to think, anymore. I thought you liked me.”

“I do!”

“Just not enough, right?”

“Pavel, I don't have an answer for you.” He pressed his lips together and stood, walking towards the door. He crossed his arms.

“Then come back when you do.” You looked at him. Was this really happening? He was standing by the door, jaw clenched, waiting for you to leave. Guess so.

“Pavel—”

“Please just go. Don't make it into something we’ll both regret.” You sighed. He was right. Defeated, you got up and exited.

Unbeknownst to you, when the door whooshed shut behind you, he began to cry.

\--

“Girlie!” You recognized the voice immediately. It belonged to Lieutenant Uhura, one of your close friends. Although she was always amazing company, you just didn't want to see anyone right now. You weren't going to reject her, though.

“Hi, Ny,” You got out as she caught up, walking alongside you.

“Now, what's wrong?” She could read you like a book. That was one of those things about her. Her intuition was sharp like a knife.

“Oh, Ny… I don't know. I told you about Pavel, that he's great and all, but I… the doctor.”

“Don't tell me… Jim was right?” She knew all about it already. She was your ear when you needed to vent. You nodded and the two of you stopped at her quarters. She keyed in her code and you both entered and flopped on her bed. “Oh dear lord…”

“Apparently me being with Pavel is killing him. And so I started to cry. But I was with Pav — well, he was in the other room — and he came back and I told him what was happening and he asked who I was going to choose and I said I didn't know and he —” By this time you were choked up, tears beading in your eyes and rolling down your cheeks. “—He kicked me out and told me to come back when I had an answer. So I think we broke up.”

“Oh no, honey…” Uhura pulled you into a tight hug, patting your back reassuringly. “It's going to be okay…”

“I know he and I have only been a thing for a couple days but I really started to feel something for him today,” You blubbered, holding onto Nyota for dear life. “And now it's ruined. And now I don't know what to do about Leonard!”

“Well, mamas, here's what you do: You find out who it is you really want. And then you go after them with everything you're worth. The worst that can happen is they don't want you.” You sniffed.

“That's pretty bad.”

“Listen to me. I'm telling you about someone. He makes you smile. He can turn your bad days upside down. You'd do anything for him. Who is he?” She looked at you.

“Pavel. Well - Leonard, he's been there longer. But Pavel…”

“You really are undecided, huh. Have you been with the doctor romantically yet?” She tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

“No, not yet.”

“Maybe you should try it. See how it feels. Now that you and Pasha are over, you can do it.” You sighed. You didn't want to think about not being able to see Pavel again.

“You're probably right. Thank you babe.”

“Please keep me updated, okay?”

“Of course.”

\--

At 2300 that night, your door chimed. You started awake, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. The monitor by your bed showed that it was Leonard.

“Come in!” At your command, the door slid open and Leonard entered the room, almost cautiously.

“Were you asleep, nurse?”

“You don't have to call me ‘nurse’ in here, Leonard. And it doesn't matter, I’m awake now. What is it you need?” He moved from the doorway to sit at the foot of your bed.

“To tell you some truths.” Your stomach dropped for the second time that night. Somehow, you wished you'd had a different response, but all you could think about was how Pavel was feeling. You swallowed.

“Go ahead…” He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, and then began.

“I, I ah, I have feelings for you. Important feelings. Feelings like I wanna hold you at night, or kiss you, or start a family with you.” You nearly choked. God, this was heavy. Heavier than how Pavel felt. “I know this is sort of out of nowhere, and I know you're with Ensign Chekov officially now — I saw the form on Mister Spock’s desk — but I just really needed to get it out.”

He wasn't making eye contact, he was fidgeting with the ring on his pinky, gazing down at his lap. That's how you knew he was nervous.

“Leonard, I —”

“I know you can't be with me, and I understand. It's a big age difference, and I was your professor, and there are so many reasons why this can't happen. I know, I go through them in my head every night. But I've felt like this… since we boarded the Enterprise. And I owe it to you to tell you. If this ruins our friendship, I understand.” Nyota’s words replayed in your mind’s eye. “You should try it. See how it feels.”

“Leonard, I’m not with Pavel anymore.” You saw his eyes light up, but he feigned sadness.

“I’m so sorry…”

“Don't be. I… I’d like to try it. This. Whatever it is.” He raised his eyebrow at you, and you saw the hope in his gaze build.

“You would?”

“Yeah.” You saw wetness build in the doctor’s eyes, and he leaned forward onto the bed to pull you into a hug.

“Thank you,” He whispered. “I know I'm not as attractive, or young, and I have a lot of baggage…”

“Len,” You shushed him, combing your hands through the back of his hair. “You're enough.” He pulled back from the hug and looked deep into your eyes. You finally felt the weight of the feelings he had for you, and you leaned in to kiss him.

His lips were thinner and less plump than Pavel’s, and his style of kissing was more mature. He respected boundaries and allowed you to push them where you saw fit. Not that Pavel was forceful, he was just more exploratory. He wasn't an aggressive kisser, nor was he fast. It very much reflected his personality: smooth, slow, and suave. Taking his time to get where he wants to go, and that was a tease for you.

You began to lean back and let yourself fall against the mattress again. He hoisted himself up on his elbows and looked down at you.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

\--

Waking up with Leonard next to you in bed was something you were already used to, what with the countless nights you had spent in each other’s quarters. This felt different, though, as you supposed it should. He was still asleep, laying flat on his back and his arms crossed to cover his eyes. It was a sight that made your stomach flop.

You looked over to the PADD on your nightstand and saw that you had 43 missed calls and a number of texts from Pavel. The calls went all the way back to 2345 and you seemed to remember Leonard putting your PADD away when the two of you finally went to bed. He must've seen it.

Plugging your headphones in, you decided to take the plunge and listen to some of the voicemails.

“It's Pasha… I just wanted to talk, I felt bad for pushing you away. Call me back whenever. Bye.”

“Hey, it's Pasha. Are you asleep? You probably are… I don't want to wake you. Call me back when you hear this. Sorry if I woke you up. Bye.”

In this next one, you could hear the faint sound of sniffling.

“Hi, uh, it's Pavel… Pasha, Pavel, whatever. I'm just really sorry. I didn't mean to pressure you so much. We’ve been moving really fast and it's my fault, I don't blame you for not being sure. That's it.”

“It's Pavel, no, that's not it… I know this may be premature but I love you,” You noticed his voice slurring like he was inebriated. In the background someone who sounded a lot like Lieutenant Sulu yelled “He loves you so much!” and you knit your brows together. “and part of loving someone is realizing they can't be yours. So I redacted the form. Go be with the Doctor.”

By this time, you were holding back tears. Looks like Leonard wasn't the only one who had a night of telling truths. The texts went about the same way, starting from coherent at 2330 and devolving into a misspelled, jumbled mess at 0400. The only exception was the last message he sent you, at 0402, which simply read “I l love yo” For some reason, that message impacted you the most.

It was comforting to some degree to know that Pavel was as shaken up about this as you had been, but now you felt like the emotionless one. Here he was crying and drinking with his friend, and you were having sex with the very person he couldn't stand the thought of you with. It seemed… wrong.

Your doorbell chimed. Leonard somehow didn't wake up. Your monitor showed it was Pavel, and your heart skipped a beat. No, no, no, no, no… Not Pavel. He couldn't see you with Leonard. Not yet. Not now. It's too soon. But you couldn't refuse to open the door for him.

Finally, you dragged yourself out of the bed, slipped on your regulation nightgown, and opened the door a crack.

“Pavel?”

“I - uh, I’m sorry for coming by so early, I just wanted to apologize —”

“I got your texts, Pavel. And your voicemails.” He cleared his throat.

“Oh, ah, you did…” He looked down. “Can I come in?”

“No, I, I don't think that's such a good idea.” He furrowed his brow and looked up at you.

“Why?” You stared at him, trying to come up with a passable answer. Pavel saw your hesitation and he reached in and pushed the door open. You allowed him inside. There was nothing you could do now. He stood in the doorway and stared at Leonard, sound asleep on your bed. “I see.”

“Pavel, I can explain—”

“No, there's no need. This is an explanation in itself.” His voice began to break and you wanted to lay down right there and die. “Well, I should be going.” He turned around and started out the door. “I must be wanted somewhere.” You grabbed his wrist.

“Pavel, please, give me another chance —”

“How can you say that? Honestly, how can you, with the doctor sleeping in your bed? You are so confusing, you say one thing and you do another. I can't deal with it. My heart hurts too much.” He stood, looking at you, waiting for you to let go of him. You finally did, tears forming in your eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don't be.” And with that, he left, the door whizzing shut behind him with an eerie sense of finality. You'd made your decision, it seems, and you weren't sure it was the right one. If you really wanted Leonard more, why couldn't you stop thinking about Pavel? Leonard was kind, and soft, every bit a southern gentleman. But Pavel could be just as soft, too. You had to break through his tough shell, but he could be the sweetest, most thoughtful person.

“Who was that?” Leonard drawled, groaning as he tried to wake up.

“Oh, no one. I think it was a ding-dong-ditch.”

“That happened to me once. You'd think, we’re all working professionals on this damn ship, but no. Some of us still act like kids.” You couldn't help but laugh. He was so cranky in the mornings. Much unlike Pavel, who was extra affectionate and just wanted to cuddle. Pavel…

“Are you hungry, Len?”

“Honey, I’m still coming into consciousness. But I could go for some coffee.” You walked over to the replicator at his prompting and punched in the code for a nice cup of joe. Pavel never drank coffee, only tea. And he liked it with milk and sugar. Len, as you know, likes his coffee black. You passed it to him without so much as a glance in his direction, and of course, he took notice. “Something bothering you?”

“Not much, just… Not much.”

“Well, when you wanna talk, let me know, hon.” Every time he called you a pet name, you wanted to flinch. It felt so weird. The magic had worn off from last night and you were just left with guilt. Pavel’s reminder came floating back into your mind. This man had a kid. A kid he still hadn't told you about, even as he was professing his feelings for you last night. When was he going to tell you? Was he ever?

“Len, what time is your shift today?”

“0900.” You glanced at the clock. 0815.

“Shouldn't we be getting ready?”

“What time is yours?”

“0930.”

“Oh, come on. We can go to work a little bit late…” He gestured for you to walk over to him. You obliged. He pulled the covers back and you hesitantly got into bed with him. “Loosen up a little bit. You're always so stressed.” Somehow you were just growing irritated, but you tried your best to settle into his embrace.

\--

“He was in her bed?!” Hikaru asked, throwing his hands in the air. “Why doesn’t she just twist the knife some more!”

“I don't know, Karu. She just… let me walk in, too.” Pavel sighed, laying prone on the floor.

“Uggghhh… She makes me want to rethink my stance on using the ‘b’ word. No, Hikaru, resist it.” Chekov looked up momentarily from his position on the ground.

“She's not a bitch, Karu —”

“—Just because you love her doesn't mean she didn't fuck up.” Hikaru looked down at his friend. “I think I know what would make you feel better.”

“What,” Chekov mumbled into the carpet. Hikaru tossed his phone at him. It was opened to the Enterprise’s dating app.

“A date. You used to love going on dates until you only had eyes for that… person,” He said, shrugging. “Look, I swiped right a couple times. You already have matches.” Pavel looked at his phone. A beautiful, smiling face was staring back at him. Her name was Tameka, and according to her profile she worked in Engineering, has a cat, and enjoys long walks to the rec room. She sounds fun.

Maybe Hikaru was right. He just needed to get back out there, and he’d feel better.

“Fine.”

“Come on, come sit up here. I already know whose profile you're looking at. She's cute.” Pavel pushed up onto his knees and climbed onto the bed. He sent her a message.

Pavel C, Command: Hey (:

“Karu, what if she doesn't reply.”

“Pavel Chekov. You are this ship’s playboy, the hardest to catch on this entire Enterprise. Any girl would be scrambling to have you.”

Ding! The sound of a new message.

Tameka R, Engineering: Helloooo <3

Already Pavel was feeling the high of gaining another notch in his belt. It was incomparable, the amazing feeling he got from being wanted.

Pavel C, Command: How are you? And may I say, you have a beautiful smile. (:

Tameka R, Engineering: Aww, you're cute :) I’m good! Are you busy today?

Before he knew it, Chekov had a dinner date with Tameka.

\--

It wasn't long before you saw the signs of Pavel moving on. In fact, it only took until the end of the day. You and Leonard were sitting, playing checkers when Pavel waltzed into Rec Room 2 with a girl on his arm. You couldn't even react because Leonard was there. Thankfully, he did for you.

“Can you believe it? He's already messing around with someone else. I tell you, nurse, Chekov is known for going through people quick like sand through your fingers.” You looked at him and furrowed your brow. Yes, you were hurt, but he had seen you the morning after you broke up with Leonard. If anything, it was you who was the one that got around.

“Leonard, I’m with you!”

“Yes, but he doesn't know that. Nobody does. We still look like friends.” That's right, you'd agreed not to tell anyone at first. And Leonard wasn't awake when Chekov walked in, so in his mind, there was no way he would've known. “Anyways, just ignore him. It's your move.”

“You're right.” You looked down at the checkers board as Leonard checked his messages on his PADD. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Chekov laughing, wrapping his arm around the girl and whispering something to her that made her giggle. It was so intimate, and it reminded you of your own relationship with him. Was Leonard right? Did Pavel just want to use you? But for how long? He didn't seem to have any intention of ending it until you told him about what was going on with you. Finally, you tore your gaze away and moved your piece on the board.

\--

Later, you were supposed to stop by the lab to check on some of the Petri dishes that you were using to conduct tests. The labs, unfortunately, were on the same level as Pavel’s room. It would've been convenient, had you not broken up with him, but now it was scary. Another chance to run into him. And run into him you did.

He came bounding down the hall with the same girl wrapped around him like a python, her lips trying desperately to trap his in a kiss. She succeeded every now and then, but he had to pull away (hesitantly, it seemed) to keep walking. Your heart fell. He was never so forward with his affections around you. But you told him not to be, you reminded yourself. Just now you were beginning to beat yourself up for things you did. You should've been more affectionate with him. You should've realized what he was worth. You shouldn't have been embarrassed. Now he was gone, he was completely over you and the opportunity was gone. He was such an angel of a boyfriend and you had no idea what you had.

Shaking your head, you pressed your keycard to the screen and entered through the door.

\--

“And I would just like to announce that two people who are very important to me, are finally together!” Kirk cried, gesturing outwards as he walked out of the turbo lift. The entire bridge turned to look at the commotion. You and Leonard followed him shyly, hand in hand. “Yes, that's right, our dear doctor has a girlfriend! And it's his nurse!” The Captain smiled with pride in his eyes.

It took you and Leonard about two weeks to decide to go public with your relationship. It was nerve-wracking, what with the age difference and being in the same department, but everyone seemed to be really supportive and kind. Well, almost everyone. Just now, the second navigator, Pavel’s best friend Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu, was giving you the nastiest side-eye you've ever seen.

“You've got yourself a girlfriend, huh,” Scotty said, looking up from his post at the Engineering station. He wasn't usually up here, either there were things his ensigns couldn't do, or Kirk had orchestrated this. It was most likely the latter.

“Yes,” McCoy replied shortly. He had not enjoyed being paraded around up to the bridge, and if you knew him, he just wanted to get this over with.

“Lenny, that's so wonderful,” Uhura began. She winked at you. “She's lovely.”

Spock walked up to you and shook your hand, two pumps and release. He nodded at McCoy, wished him luck, and then returned to his science station. McCoy actually seemed affected by it. You thought it wasn't much, but then again, you didn't know Spock very well, so maybe any display of friendship or cordiality was notable.

Chekov was avoiding eye contact with you or McCoy and for good reason. Hikaru leaned over and whispered something, and Chekov laughed. You heard his giggle ring through your ears like bells. It had been so long since you heard that laugh, and it killed you. You nearly wanted to go over and hug him right there. But this wasn't about you. It was about Kirk and McCoy, and you weren't going to ruin this. Besides, McCoy was caring and loyal and sweet. As far as he knew, you didn't care about Chekov anymore.

The last time you saw Chekov, he was making out with a guy in a hallway. In fact, every time you've seen him, he was with someone, whether they be a girl, boy, both, or neither. He really was tearing through them like a kid at Thanksgiving dinner. Leonard was right. Chekov never cared about you. You must've just been another notch in his belt. And you know what, you can accept that. It's okay. You have someone who truly, deeply cares for you now and that's what matters.

 


	4. IV

“Nurse, you don't look happy.”

You were sitting across from Captain Kirk once again, and you couldn't help but notice the parallels between the two situations. First, he was here because he wanted you to be with the Doctor, now he was here because you weren't happy with the Doctor.

“I don't suppose that I am.”

“Would you like to tell me why?” Somehow, definitely not of your own volition, Kirk had become a sort of emotional mentor to you. You weren't sure where he got the time to do so. Not that you were complaining, having the Captain of the entire goddamn ship care about you was a huge deal and that was not lost on you, it was just… odd.

“Gosh, I… You know I love Leonard very much.”

He nods.

“I just… Can't stop seeing him as a friend. When we’re… intimate… It feels wrong. I think about… you know…”

“Mister Chekov.” You cleared your throat.

“Yes.” He sighed, looked down at his salad, and moved it around thoughtfully with his fork.

“You know, I don't choose these salads on my own. Your boyfriend makes me eat these.” Looking up at you, he continued. “They suck.” You laughed.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“You don't know how much I wish I could eat what you are. But the Captain must retain his slim figure,” He mimicked McCoy, in a very comical Southern accent. There was a beat, and he continued. “That's all you need to know, then, nurse.”

“What is?”

“You're not happy, you're thinking about Chekov, you can't see Bones romantically — that's just all. You shouldn't be with him.” You stared at him. Was he being serious? Wasn't Leonard his friend?

“Aren't you friends with him?”

“With Leonard? Of course! But that doesn't mean I want to force you to stay in a relationship you're not happy in. I care about all of my crew, nurse.” Hearing him say that made your heart swell. He really didn't play favorites when it came to his team, his crew, his family. He wanted the best for everyone. You sighed.

“There's still one problem.”

“What's that, nurse?”

“Chekov has completely moved on.” He frowned.

“No, he hasn’t.”

“You want to bet?”

“He seemed so infatuated with you, nurse.” You looked down, hiding your blush.

“Well, I guess he wasn’t…” The Captain shook his head.

“My intuition is never wrong. Keep at it nurse, I have a feeling.” You shrugged and took a bite of your oatmeal.

“I hope you’re right, James.”

“Please, Jim. James makes me feel old.” The two of you laughed and dug into your now-cold food.

\--

“I see.”

Leonard was staring at you, wine bottle in hand. He had planned a special night, just because, and now you were ruining it.

“I’m so sorry, Leonard… You mean so much to me.”

“Please don’t say that.” He placed the bottle down on the table and slumped into the chair. The dim lights seemed to reflect the new mood in the room; solemnity. “I suppose I knew it from the start. It was only a matter of time.”

“You knew?”

“Unfortunately. It all seemed too good to be true, and it was. There was no way you’d break up with someone you clearly had feelings for and be with me on the same day. That just wasn’t like you at all. It was probably someone else’s idea.”

“Nyota…”

“That sounds like something she’d suggest for you to do. Not that it’s a bad thing, in fact, I’m sure you gained a lot of experience, but…” He took the bottle in his lap and inspected it.

“So you’re okay?” He looked up at you, beautiful blue eyes brimming with sadness.

“No. Not at all. But I want for you what you want, and you want Ensign Chekov.” Cautiously, he averted his gaze and muttered to himself. “Forty-five years and still the same song…”

You couldn’t even imagine how much pain he was in right now. A divorce, a failed relationship with someone that turned out to be a salt monster, the whole xenopolycythemia, and Princess Natira, and now you. You wanted to love him, you wanted to want him as much as he did you, but your heart doesn’t work that way. Admittedly, you hated yourself for it, as you wanted someone who would never even think about you again. Would it be better to be alone and loving Pavel or with Leonard and loving Pavel? You supposed honesty would be the best road to take. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you did this any longer.

In bed, you felt Pavel’s touch instead of Leonard’s, wished it was brown eyes looking down at you instead of blue, longed for a Russian accent in your ear instead of Southern. It was a curse, and you had the cure for it until you let him slip away.

“Leonard,” You began, “It’s not even a sure thing with him…”

“I’m sure he still loves you,” He replied, “You’re impossible to forget.” You laughed, but he stared you down. He was serious.

“Thank you, Len.”

“Besides, I’ll find something someday. Don’t worry about me, girl. I’ve been through this a million times.” You smiled at him sadly. “Just one thing…”

“Anything.”

“Give me one last kiss.” You grinned and walked over to him, pecking him gently on the lips. Your communicator chirped.

“Yes?” Nurse Salcedo’s voice chimed through the speaker.

“Raleigh called in sick. He covered you last time, it’s your turn.” You covered the mic on the communicator before you sighed.

“What time is his shift?”

“In twenty minutes.” Another sigh.

“Alright. Let me wrap up here.”

“Kiss McCoy for me.”

“Shut up, Salcedo.”

  
“Over and out.” With a huff, you flipped your communicator shut and shot the doctor a look.

“Well,” He began, “You heard the man. Get into your uniform.”

\--

“Salcedo, I can't believe you called me in for this. It's dead!” You were on your third pile of patient forms, the only thing to do during lulls like this was paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork. Nurse Salcedo gave you a sideways look as he glanced up from his own pile of PADDs.

“You really think I want to be here either? No thanks! Being the head PT has its ups and downs, and this is one of the downs.” He signed another PADD, tossed it to the side, and sighed. “I can't believe your boyfriend gets to miss this shift.”

“Oh, er, about that…”

“No,” He said incredulously.

“I mean…”

“Don't tell me! You broke up!” You facepalmed at the raising of his voice.

“Go ahead and tell the whole world, Salcedo.” He lowered his voice to a rushed whisper.

“I can't believe it! Was that what I was interrupting?” Before you could answer, the door whooshed open, and a bashful looking Pavel Chekov entered. You and Salcedo exchanged a glance. “As much as I’d love to help you with this, I’m a physical therapist.”

“Yeah, as if you won't enjoy this.” You stood from the desk and led Chekov quietly to a bed. “What seems to be the problem, ensign?”

“It is a, uh, personal problem…” Oh, great. Now you get to hear all about his sex life. You nearly rolled your eyes, but by some miracle of God, you held back.

“Go ahead, ensign.”

“Well, I… I was on P-2K9…” Clearly.

“The planet we’re orbiting.”

“Right.”

“Go on…” The tension could be cut with a knife. Or maybe just your anger. Something could be cut with a knife. Maybe it was just you wanting to choke him.

“Well, I had… relations with one of the natives…” By now he was pink as the inside of a grapefruit. You were staring him down, both he and you knew it.

“And?” Just now you noticed how much he was fidgeting. He was positively restless.

“And now my, uh, down there, won't stop burning! It feels like fire.” Oh, great. Andorian Crotch Burn, in laymen’s terms. The only relief was from pressing ice to the affected area, and the symptoms themselves would go away in about an hour. You told Chekov as such and his face twisted in disgust. “I am so sorry.”

“It's fine, ensign, this is my job.” You disappeared from the room to fetch a cold pack.

As you entered the break room, Salcedo was standing there with a grin the size of the Milky Way.

“Andorian Crotch Burn? Ouch!” He giggled. So he had been eavesdropping.

“If you were eavesdropping, you couldn't have made yourself useful and gotten me a cold pack?”

“But of course not. This is your patient after all. And I’m —”

“—Just a PT, I know the game already. Thanks anyways, you ass!” You shoved him playfully.

\--

Pavel hears laughter coming from the other room, and you reappear, face hard as stone with a cold pack in hand. You break it over your knee and give Pavel a look before you press it down between his legs. He jerks for a second but finally settles into it once he feels the relief it provides.

“Thank you, nurse…”

“Don’t mention it.”

The two of you sat there for a moment, not making eye contact. The room felt heavy like a weight was looming over the both of you. You supposed there was. The two of you hadn’t had a conversation since breaking up almost two months ago; the closest you’ve come is seeing each other in the hallway and turning away immediately.

“How is your um… the doctor?”

“We… We broke up, Pavel.” You see the same glint you saw in Leonard’s eyes the moment you told him you and Pavel had broken up, but you brush it off as a trick of the mind. Seeing what you wanted to see. Something like that.

“I’m.. uh… sorry....”

“Don’t be. It needed to happen.” He looked at you but you avoided his gaze. Silence washed over the room again.

The clock ticked.

The engines of the ship hummed.

You moved the ice pack every now and then.

“I can’t do this.” You looked at him. Did he just say that?

“Can’t do what, ensign? Is it too cold?”

“Can’t do this. I’m miserable…”

“Miserable about wh–”

“–Don't do this. You know exactly what.” You looked him in the eye. The world was changing, somehow. Your world.

“Tell me. I need you to tell me.”

“I need you back.” Stunned. That was the only thing you could comprehend. You were so completely appalled that you didn’t know what to say. The few days you and he spent together came rushing back into your mind. Just those couple of days drove you wild. They encapsulated your thoughts for the past almost two months. Every second of the day was you obsessing over those moments, those hours, and now you had a chance to experience them all over again and more.

“Pavel, I don’t know what to say…”

“Do you feel the same?”

“I mean – of course I do. But I thought –”

“–You thought what?”

“I thought you were over me. All those people you were sleeping with…”

“Damn. Hikaru got me back into that. I learned from Chapel that that’s actually called “bad coping mechanisms." I only did it when I was hurt or I felt lonely. After you, I felt both.”

“You didn’t think to stop when she told you that it was an addiction?”

“I couldn’t. The only way I could was if I had you back, and you were with the doctor. I was so convinced you were in love with him, and that I had no chance. You seemed so happy with him.”

“Oh Pavel, you must’ve been wearing the opposite of rose-colored glasses. I was so unhappy. All I could think about was you.”

“All I could think about was you!”

“I guess we have that in common then.” You shared a laugh, and as the laughter died, something more serious replaced it. You caught his gaze, and he seemed to be staring into your very soul.

“You could say we do…”  
  
“Pavel, I’m in love with you.” You were shocked by your own admission, but you knew it was true. There was no taking this one back. It was take the plunge or not at all.

“I’m in love with you too.” Your heart sighed with relief and jumped for joy simultaneously. Your stomach twisted itself into knots. Your hands shook and you broke out into a smile. So this is what love really feels like… No wonder so many songs have been written about it.

You laughed nervously and leaned down to capture his mouth in a kiss that had all the emotion in the world. It burned with fire, with passion, with love; it felt different than any other kiss you’ve had in your life. This is it, you thought, this is the person I’m spending the rest of my life with. And you’re currently holding an ice pack to his crotch. Fitting, you thought lightheartedly.

“I can’t tell you how happy I am right now,” Chekov admitted, whispering against your lips. “I never thought this would be my reality. Even as I would call your name in bed, or pretend I was having dinner with you instead of some random, I never once seriously entertained the thought of getting you back and being in love.”

“Me neither.”

“Looks like we both need to be more optimistic, huh?”

  
“It seems more like realism, now.” And with that, you ended the conversation by locking your lips to his.


End file.
